What if both the idea of change, and its implementation could be less taxing than we imagine? Actually not change as in coins, but change as in the verb. Let’s explore that!
All sorts of things in life can be intimidating. As humans we particularly like habit and routine. It’s easier than looking at everything with “new” eyes all the time, truly! So perhaps our inherent ‘risk aversion’ has gotten tangled up with an aversion to change?
Additionally our handy, dandy Inner Critics make change seem daunting and scary. They tell us that all sorts of bad and complicated things will happen. Then they tell us that we can’t change, that it’s too hard to change, that we aren’t capable of change—over and over and over again.
And big change is challenging, and arduous, I agree. The new question is: “what if it’s actually about small change, instead of big change?” Radical idea, eh?
One client I’m working with is in the midst of the discovery that you don’t have to change everything to be more effective. A small change can be very effective on many levels.
Here’s an idea to embrace. We don’t actually have to start over from scratch, we may just want to tweak things a bit! We each have unique talents and strengths. We are each a unique compilation of possibilities. There is strength and value in that uniqueness. Getting more effective results is more about small changes than trying to start from scratch. Additionally if you try to change ‘everything’ about yourself, you are actually more likely to zoom right past and thus keep the part that’s not working, leaving it still not working.
When you lean on the support of what you are good at, it’s much easier to shift or change the parts that aren’t working well. You are coming from strength, which is really effective. One of the crucial aspects to making small changes work comes down to figuring out where the ‘sticky part’ is!
What I’m really trying to say here is that you don’t have to crawl through broken glass or become a different person to find more fulfillment or inner peace. It’s more about narrowing in on small changes that can have a big impact.
Those changes are mostly around what we make up! We make up stuff about:
- How we are ‘supposed’ to be
- What others want or need from us
- What others think about us
- How we judge ourselves
Which all comes down to a large pile of judgement (Inner Critic) which makes changes look big, hard, scary, and downright impossible. And yet some changes are truly just small shifts. Now those small shifts that make a big difference often seem to be in the land of boundaries. Remember those? Those handy little fences that manage everyone’s expectations!
So how about experimenting with making some small changes, and setting some simple boundaries between yourself and others? What might happen then? Oh and what might you do with those super talents of yours if you had a wee bit less distraction and judgement circling you?
Shell Tain, the Untangler
If you’d like to explore just what boundaries to set where give me a call at 503-258-1630 or check out my website at www.sensiblecoaching.com.