Do you find that your money always shows up in extremes? For example, you get a lump of it at the beginning of the month, spend it and then find there is none until the next month.
If so, you may very well be trapped in the scarcity place (feast or famine, binge or purge, black or white, all or nothing…all the same stuff). It’s a concept of extremes, and it’s exhausting. Your little kid part that I often speak about is still in charge of your money. When the money comes in, she spends it…all. She doesn’t think past this moment. It’s part of being a little kid.
It’s all about that tricky balance thing. You need to wrap your head around it differently. Think of the middle, instead of the ends. After all, the colors are all in the middle between black and white. Emotionally, you need to make it more valuable to take care of yourself all month than to splurge…not from a sense of boring duty, but from a sense of self love. This is the inside work.
Consider some outside structures that might help:
When you get the funds immediately put 30 – 40% aside
Every time you spend money put 15% aside
Save some amount every time you get money – this is the crucial one.
Our brain needs to know that we CAN save. It doesn’t matter how much, even one dollar is fine. Brainwise, it’s the action of saving that is important, not the amount.
If you are spending it all, and then find yourself lacking, you are doing what ‘poor’ people do. Poverty creates an interesting concept of quickly exchanging money for stuff. The belief and logic is that someone may take money from you, but it’s harder for them to take stuff away from you. So spend it all now, so that no one can take it away. The trick is to establish the idea and process of saving, taking action to believe that it’s not just about today, but self-care for tomorrow.
Practice this and you will change the behavior and the beliefs…at the same time.