Category Archives: Money is Reflective

Power Struggle

It may very well seem like all the struggle going on in our politics and our lives right now is about money.  Certainly money is front and center as a topic—but I want you to remember: Money doesn’t actually create the situation, it reflects it!  We need to be very careful as we come to conclusions about what it going on.  If we decide that money itself is a fault then we fall into the mess of blaming money for something it isn’t responsible for.  People make choices, money just goes where they put it.

When we make money responsible for people’s choices we tend to “throw the baby out with the bath water”.  We decide that money is bad, evil, dirty.  We decide things would be better if we have as little to do with money as possible.  As Spock would say that is a “most illogical reaction.”  And it’s a trap that will derail you.

We humans are pattern makers.   We lump things together to make them easier to deal with.  It works really well in lots of places.  Deciding that money is the cause of something that someone used money to do isn’t one of those places.   Greed isn’t about money—it’s about power.  (And just so you know rape isn’t about sex—it too is about power.)

Here’s how I know greed isn’t really about money.  If you magically had a room filled with money, but weren’t allowed to spend it or use it in any way, you wouldn’t want it.  What we want from money is what we can do with it, and that has nothing to do with money being good or bad—that’s up to us.

Money is just doing its job.  It’s telling us—without any judgement at all—what is happening.  Money is great that way.  It shows what Bill and Melinda Gates choose to do with their money.  It shows Warren Buffet giving billions to charities, including the Gates ones.  As you notice those who are greedy and self-serving with money, please balance that perspective with those who are generous.  It’s not money doing the choosing, it’s people.

Another way to think of it is that money is a mirror.   Let it show that how you make and spend your money is in alignment with your dreams and values.  Let’s allow money to do its job of supporting us by simply telling us what we are up to.

Ka-ching

Shell Tain, The Untangler

If you find yourself thinking that money itself is bad, get in touch and let’s see if we can untangle that in a  way that works for you.  Call me at  503-258-1630 or check out my website at www.sensiblecoaching.com

The Values Behind the Actions

Frankly, whatever we do, it reflects who we are.  Money is a place where that reflection of values is very clear.  As you’ve heard me say before it’s a great place to look at to see just what we are up to.  Recently I had a really positive experience of that at—of all places—a Hyundai car dealership.

car-windshield-wipers-in-the-rainI have a 2001 Hyundai Santa Fe (you may have seen the post “Perfect Bandage Fix” about it earlier this year).  Anyway the little do-hickey that squirts the cleaning fluid on the windshield was clogged on the drivers side.  And as people are want to say in these here parts, “It rains in Oregon.”  After trying the “pin poke” method, I made an appointment with the dealership to take it in to have the offending do-hickey fixed—and yes, it was raining that day.

When I got there they discovered that I wasn’t in their database.  I had never been there before.  As I went into the waiting area to do the magazine hunt while they fixed the car, I noticed one of the mechanics and a female customer over to the side talking.  It appeared that there were a bunch of things wrong with her car, and he was going over a game plan with her on how to get it back in shape.  I was frankly impressed with how the mechanic was handling the situation.  The woman appeared to be a bit flustered and worried.  He was empathetic, clear, patient, and relaxed, without a hint of being patronizing.

Frankly in my experience that’s hard to find in a mechanic.  I remember once long ago when a mechanic at a gas station asked me if I wanted to have him fill the radiator on my VW bug.  My response was “No thanks, I had my boyfriend do that this morning!”  (For those who don’t know, the classic VW Bugs are air cooled—no radiator.  But I digress.)

Back to the waiting room.  At this point I’m impressed with the dealership based on the conversation I’m listening to.  Now a guy with a clip board comes in and calls my name.  He tells me that the little hose that takes the soapy water to the actual squirter do-hickey was clogged and he’s cleared it.  I say “Wonderful, how much do I owe you?” and he says:  “It’s no charge, it’s just a little thing.”

As I got into my car, I was smiling.  In general I have always had that, “Don’t go to the dealership!  They charge way more!”  thing in my head.  I based it on previous experience, and it was firmly there.  It’s now changed.

Although this may sound like a plug for Beaverton Hyundai, which it certainly is, it is also very much about Customer Service.  And Customer Service is about building trust and aligning with your values, yes?

Sure they could have charged me to clear the clog.  I would have happily paid it.  It would have been fine.  What they did instead was create a relationship with me by being generous in a small way.  The value of caring and consideration reflected in their actions.

Guess where I’ll go when the car needs fixing?

Ka-ching

Shell Tain, The Untangler

Want to explore how you might build more trust in little ways with your clients? Give me a call at 503-258-1630 or check out my website: www.sensiblecoaching.com

Truth, Love and Money

My friend, Chris Venn (http://www.chrisvenn.com) and I were talking awhile back about his idea that what we really need in life is Truth and Love.  I’m sure he’s been having this conversation with others, and it’s one that is well worth exploring.  The idea rang true to me.  When either or both Truth and Love are missing we are in trouble. Like a lot of things that I really get engaged in, this is an idea this is simple and elegant at first glance that cascades into a deeper concept. Allow me to delve into it a bit more before I add money to the mix:

truth-and-loveTruth: for me truth usually means something that is always the same, as opposed to belief which can be mostly the same.  In what Chris and I were discussing, I think truth is more about the absence of fantasy or illusion.  I’d hate to have to admit how many time in life I held out hoping something would be different than it was—I chose to believe my dreams instead of the reality in front of me (and yes, that does have to do with relationships with others). So truth is what we really know for sure, right?

Love: My interpretation here is that Chris and I were talking about compassion, caring, thoughtfulness, generosity, etc.  Loving as a way of being with oneself and with others, not so much the romantic thang!  And for me, love and being loving have something to do with living in my values.  Treating others and myself with respect, compassion, and caring.

Okay, now with definitions in place, what’s this got to do with money?  Everything!

Money just tells the truth.  It can’t help it.  If it was an actual person, that person would be incapable of lying.  Now, I don’t mean that we can’t use or spend money chasing illusions, we do that all the time!  But Money itself doesn’t lie.  It tells us we are chasing an illusion.  Well, actually it doesn’t come out and say, “Hey there you!  You are chasing an illusion!” Instead it says, “You just spent this much money on that item.”

joe-friday-just-the-factsFor those of you who are as old as I am, Money is like Sgt. Friday in Dragnet: “Just the facts, ma’am.” Now I’ll admit he was grumpy, and terse—check this out (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMIZGrgWOO4) —but, he’s also all business (and pretty funny to me).

So that brings us to the emotional part, doesn’t it?  Love is certainly an emotion, and Money doesn’t actually have emotion, in and of itself.  So how does Money help with that? It will reflect your emotion, by showing you how you choose to use it.

It’s actually one of the gifts of Money.  There is no ‘spin’ on Money, except what we put on it.  It’s the most neutral source for us to see what we are up to.  That parental voice in your head that says you shouldn’t spend money on THAT, whatever ‘that’ is, isn’t your Money, it’s your inner critic!  Money, unlike your mother, or your spouse, or your friends, doesn’t actually have an opinion about what you are up to.  All it does it tell you what you are doing—without judgement.

That’s a really good thing to know, and use.  It’s a source of information, right there, under your nose.  If life is not rolling along well for you, Money can will tell you where things are wonky.  You have to do the interpreting.  Money says you bought yourself a new car.  You need to notice what the car means to you, what it is reflecting.  Do you love it?  Is it about status?  Did you somehow settle for a car you don’t like?  What’s going on?  All that is your part, the application of Love and Truth—Money’s job is that Joe Friday gig of “Just the facts, ma’am.”

Ka-ching

Shell Tain, The Untangler

Want to explore what Money is telling you about Truth and Love in your life? Give me a call at 503-258-1630 or check out my website: www.sensiblecoaching.com

Who’s In the Director’s Chair?

Recently I was watching an interview with my friend and colleague, David Darst and he brought up the classic Hollywood actor’s desire: “What I really want to do is direct!”  Directing is what we all want to do on some level.  Even Barbie wants to direct as exemplified by the “Film Director Barbie”—I know, I was astounded too!

Barbie Film Director

David was talking about how we want to be in the Director’s Chair in our relationships.  You know how that works—we want to  have everyone do things the way we want them.  Of course since our partners want to also direct, such a desire gets pretty messy.

I loved the analogy and started thinking about it on a personal level. For many years my title was Controller, which seems to me to be a money version of Director, so I too like to be ‘in-charge’.  I truly think we all do.

And yet, what I notice is that many people think that when it comes to money, they aren’t the Director, Money is.  For that to be true Money would have to dictate and direct what is happening, and it doesn’t do that.  What it does, as you’ve no doubt heard me say before, is reflect your choices.  Using our film analogy, Money is more like the “Director’s Cut” of the film—a reflection of what you the Director created.

So the problem really is, when you think Money is the Director you stop taking charge yourself.  You “let” things just happen.   You fall into what I call Money Traps, which are basically unconscious spending habits that don’t align with your values and goals.

Remember all those great Mickey Rooney, Judy Garland movies where the ‘kids’ put on a spontaneous musical in the barn?  They all had a Director.  It was Mickey.  He took the role, and coordinated the show.

Without someone directing we end up with chaos, yes? Or at least something unorganized and random!

Managing your money, taking the role of director regarding how you make it, spend it, save it actually isn’t as complicated as Directing all the aspects of an MGM 30’s musical.  It has to do with you being clear and purposeful with your money decisions.

If Mickey and Barbie can do it, so can you!  How about a major rewrite of the script you are following when it comes to your money?  How about making yourself not only the Director but the lead actor?  The one who moves the story and action along, instead of the person who is pulled through the plot by circumstances with no control?

This whole thing leads me to a great idea!  Why not write up the storyline of you and Money as it has unfolded in your life, and then, just for the fun of it do a re-write of how you’d like it to be?

You really are the Director of your money, so why not own and enjoy that?  After all, most of us do really want to direct!

Ka-ching

Shell Tain, The Untangler

How about a little help changing your storyline when it comes to money? Give me a call at 503-258-1630 or check out my website at www.sensiblecoaching.com

The Money Will Follow?

We’ve all heard that adage about “Do what you love, the money will follow”, haven’t we?  For years my response to that was “Yes, it follows, but it’s way the hell back there!”  The idea behind the initial quote has merit, and I think it needs some further exploration.

marriedNo doubt the initial idea was to counter balance the masses of people who strive to get the money first, and expect to then have the money give them the ‘love’ later.  In this instance the money is leading, not following.

The fundamental flaw in the idea of leading with getting the money first is that it’s contrary to what money’s job really is.  Money doesn’t ever ‘lead’, it follows.  Or more specifically it reflects.  It mirrors your choices.  So to play with the adage: “Do what you love and the money will reflect that.”

Of course, we all know it’s not quite the easy.  Well, it can be easy, but in order to be easy we have to have a clear, unclouded intention around our money – and that ain’t easy for most of us given all the emotion and expectations we have attached to money.

Whatever you do, money will reflect it.  It will reflect your actions and the emotions behind them.  That’s its job.  So “Do what has you be your unique self, and then your life—and thus your money—will reflect it.”  Gee that sounds fun, doesn’t it?

One of the things that I think is a fundamental hiccup in the adage is around the “Do what you love” part.  How do you approach doing what you love?  What judgments do you bring to the table?  I remember years ago having a discussion with my then partner on an airplane.  We were talking about me and art.  Doing art.  Out of my mouth came: “I can’t do art, you can’t make money doing art!”  Yep, there is was.  Carved in stone in my brain.  I love art, I love doing art.  I do many things artfully.  I don’t do fine art as a living because I frankly wasn’t ever really able to bust that belief.  See, with that belief I would have created “Do what I love and the money will limp along behind me” because money would have had no choice but to reflect my belief.

It’s a hard one to shift, for sure.  Here’s an easier shift (not necessarily simple, but easier): “Do what has you be your unique self and your life and thus the money will reflect it.”  Not nearly as catchy or smooth off the tongue, but more effective.

We all have strengths and talents, yet we somehow think we aren’t supposed to use them.  We believe we have to do things the hard way for them to be worthwhile. When we do that the money will reflect that choice.  It will show us the stress we put ourselves under.  It will mirror the frustration of pushing the big rock up the hill over and over.

What I finally learned was that my talents and strengths were actually valuable in themselves.  That by doing what was natural for me, I was able to actually come to doing what I loved and having the money follow.  I use my “artistic”, creative side all the time.  Sometimes it’s something tangible like knitting, painting, decorating, which is great.

However my use of my natural gifts and talents in my coaching, in helping others “create” new possibilities has me being in a beloved “artistic” place  all the time.   It’s not something separate, it’s always there.

These days it really is “Lovingly be who I really am, and watch the money reflect it.”  Try really honoring your natural talents, the money won’t just follow, it will join you.

Ka-ching

Shell Tain, The Untangler

Want more untangling? Give me a call at 503-258-1630 or check out my website at www.shelltain.com

Money’s Job

Most of us have an odd idea of what money’s job is.  We treat it as if it was a sentient being.  It’s amazing how much this abstract construct has become a force that we presume acts on its own.  We wait for money to give us signals before we act.  We blame money for our not being where we want to be in life.  We refuse to look at our money because we are sure that it will lecture us or shame us.  Money is doing its job, it’s just different than what we expect.

Many of us are waiting for something from money.  Some sign that we are okay or have “arriveMoney-Talksd”.  I’ve talked with people who feel that they can’t actually pursue the life they “really” want until they have somehow earned enough money to deserve it.  At the same time others feel that not having amassed “enough” money is a fatal character flaw that they must hide.   Others tend to spend what they don’t have.

These and other similar ideas come from not really understanding what money’s job is.  All money is doing trying to tell you what you are doing.  Money doesn’t tell you what you wish you were doing, it tells you what you are actually doing.  It has no judgement, it just reports and reflects.  As a matter of fact, it reflects very clearly.

Remember that old thing about “Try to pick up a pencil?”  It was one of those things I experienced in a Personal Growth training years ago.  You can’t actually “try”… you either pick it up or you don’t.   There is similar way that we “try” with money.  We want money to be there before we take a step or make a choice but money can’t do that.  All money does is show what we are up to.  So what it shows is that we are “trying” to have money do for us what we can’t do for ourselves.

There is more truth than we know in the “Do what you love, the money will follow,” statement, because that’s all the money can do.  It follows or reflects what you are doing.  It shows that you are waiting.  It shows that you are accepting things that are contrary to your dreams, hopes and desires. It shows whether or not you are doing “what you love.”

Okay, I can feel your inner critic voice rising up and saying, “That’s nuts, I can’t just ignore all the responsibilities I have!”  That’s absolutely true.  And is it at all possible that you could honor your responsibilities in a way that has you also honoring your dreams and desires?  What if you stop waiting for money to tell you when? What if you changed to you telling money, by how you use and earn it, what is truly important to you?   It’s your job after all, not money’s.  Money is doing its job.  It’s reflecting what you are really up to.  It will show you if you look.   Money isn’t designed to generate something on its own.  It’s designed to convert your energy into your wishes.  That’s what it’s doing.   If you want something different it’s up to you to change your actions, then money will reflect those changes.

If you’d like to explore this tangle give me a call at 503-258-1630 or check out my website at  www.sensiblecoaching.com

Ka’ching,

Shell Tain, The Untangler

Money in the First Position

Ever do that thing where you go into the store and head directly for the sale rack as if it’s the only thing available?  Or maybe you stayed at a job you hated because they gave you a raise?  These are just a couple of examples of the Money Trap I call Money in the First Position, and it’s a stinker!

First let me explain what a Money Trap is.  A Money Trap is somethimoney trapng that takes you off course.  It’s like a hole you fall into, and a trap that snares you.  When it comes to our money it is specifically something that takes you away from your goals, values and dreams.  It’s, above all, a distraction from your purpose.  There are bunches of these traps out there.  Some are common to most of us and some are yours alone.  This Money in the First Position one is pretty common.

The title comes from a nod to bank loans.  The main mortgage on your home is in “the first position”.  What that really means is if something happens to your home whoever has that “first” gets paid “first”.  I call this Money Trap “Money in the First Position” because what happens is that money is the first thing you consider, and often the only thing.

But wait you say, isn’t money an important thing to consider?  Yes, it certainly is.  The trap is when it’s the ONLY thing or when money is given too much weight.  There is nothing I like more than finding a great price for something I want.  The problem is when I buy it based on the price even if it’s not really what I want

Money is an important part of most decisions but we get in trouble when it’s the only part.  Dr. Phil has a great line about this: “If you marry for money, you earn every penny.”  It’s a big price to pay!

People often use Money in the First Position to actually protect themselves from having to explore new territory.  By asking the cost of something first you can dismiss it as “too expensive”.  That’s one of the most common results of this trap.  We dismiss something because of the price before we even really know what it is and what its value may be.  It would most likely be more effective to buy a pair of slacks that fit perfectly and you wore every week for twice or even three times the money you paid for the “perfectly adequate” on sale pair…and if you have the Money in the First Position trap running you, then you won’t even give that a chance.

The real problem with all of this is misunderstanding money.  Getting more money or a better deal isn’t the goal.  Getting what you truly desire or want and having the money (cost) make sense is the goal.   That’s the sweet spot.

So notice where you put money in your decision making.  Is it top of the pile?  It is the only thing you consider?  Or is it an important factor mixed in with other things that are also relevant?

I can help you untangle this and other Money Traps, give me a call at 503-258-1630 or check out my website at  www.sensiblecoaching.com

Ka’ching,

Shell Tain, The Untangler

Social Status and Money

Seems like they go hand in hand, doesn’t it? The more status, the more money, and people often hope the reverse is true: the more money, the more status. We’ve lived with this hierarchical model for millennia.  And there is money right there in the middle of it.  But what is money’s role in this?  And what other choices do we have?

Anthropologically forming groups of “us” and “them” is a very human thing to do.  Money and what we do with it helps define our group, doesn’t it?  It’s a chicken/egg thing.Pyramid (as an illustration of social status and money)
This is another place where we think money is defining what is going on. However, what I think it really does is reflect our desire to be accepted or comfortable—or maybe even both.

I notice that we get nervous when we are out of our social comfort zone.  Those places where we feel comfortable are ingrained.  We are also very adept at recognizing them.  I remember once while house hunting, we found a great house.  It was perfect on many levels and the thought that went through my head was “I’d have to put on makeup and get dressed to go to the mail box here!”  I’d hit a true “social ceiling”: It wasn’t about money, the house was right on the money, it was something else. I’d like to think that it just felt too “stuffy” for me.  Who knows?

What I do know is that when we tie our money to the “social status” game we create more havoc in our personal finances.   We create a Money Trap.  You’ve heard me talk about them before.  Money Traps are things that steal away our attention from what is truly important to us.  They distract us and have us spending on things that we don’t really care about.  In the status game we somehow think that driving the more expensive car will move us up the social ladder and that doing that will make us happy.  It’s more likely that it will just keep us spinning to have more, instead to figuring out what we actually think that illusive “more” will create.

Here’s an example:  I once worked on the management team of a new shopping center in Thousand Oaks, California.  It was the late 70s and this mall, called the Oaks, was a big deal.  It had a full mile of stores inside the mall before you even walked into the department stores at either end. It was a very expensive mall with high-end stores.  The odd thing is that in finding the site, getting the permits, and building the mall, the developers had never really done any demographic research.  Thousand Oaks was a suburb of L.A.  It had nice houses.  It looked good from the outside.  However, for most of the families the husband drove a nice car into L.A. every day to work.  The wife stayed home with the 2.3 kids, drove an old car, and shopped at Target.   The home had lovely furniture on the first floor.  Upstairs there were mattresses and unfinished furniture in the bedrooms.  The developer had looked at the outside image to decide what the inside economics was like.  I felt bad for the families.  For me, it wasn’t that they couldn’t “afford” what they wanted.  It was that they were living a lie.  Looking at the money we can see that.  Looking at the outside we don’t.

What we really want is to belong. To be one of the “cool” kids. The problem is that most of the “cool” kids are longing to be one of the even “cooler” kids.  There’s the trap.  It’s the trap that I once heard described as “comparing our insides to other people’s outsides.”

So money doesn’t actually make any of this social status happen, it just reflects how hard we are striving for it and what we will do to get it.  My guess is that if we could all get clearer about that we might make different choices, ones that might have us feel happier.

If you’d like to untangle that just give me a call at 503-258-1630 or contact me through my website at: http://shelltain.com/contact/

Ka’ching,

Shell Tain, The Untangler

Looking at Your Money

How do you look at your money?  Let’s untangle how to actually see what money is trying to tell us.

There are many ways to do it.  Some of them are number intense.   Some focus on budgets and spreadsheets.  Some get you tied up in thinking about investments and stocks.  Some use online resources like Mint, while others call for using programs like Quicken.  Some folks even use my GOSH model with their money. (GOSH is a no number-crunching, in the moment, budget substitute…more about it in another blog, soon…I promise!)  Whatever method you use or don’t use there is something more fundamental than the methodology to consider when you look at your money.  It’s your attitude about it.

Your money, how skitched-20120718-232045you earn it, what you choose to do with it, all of that, is really a wealth of information about how you are living your life.  We’ve all seen the “Who done it” where the forensic accountant finds amazing clues on the suspect’s credit card statement.  That information is there, all the time, just waiting for you.  Money reflects your choices.

There are two basic things to consider as you begin the exploration of decoding what money is trying to tell you.  One is how you want to look at it.  I’ve listed a bunch of ways above.  They fall into the categories of “historical” and “in the moment”.  All the “crunchy” ones (requiring 10 key, columns or computers) are “historical”.  They show you what you have done.  They are fascinating in many ways, but frequently cause analytical overload.  The “in the moment” ones are generally more philosophical.  They are based on actively noticing what you are doing with your money in the moment.  What is that expense really about?  Does it have some underlying meaning?

Now hold on, I know it may seem that I’ve gone over an edge here.  AND we often have sly meanings behind how we use money.  I say “sly” because we aren’t likely to be conscious of them ourselves.  Money and how we use it can mean love, it can mean revenge, it can have fear behind it, or even hope.  Money can represent all sorts of things.  Your money and your life can be very different if you just get clear about what you are doing with money.  As you get clear about those hidden meanings behind the purchases, you can find other more effective ways to fulfill those desires.

We each have values that we care deeply about: fundamental tenets.  We seek a life that honors those values and yet often spend time and money doing things that are in opposition to our values.  It’s part of what’s going on when you spend a bunch of money on something and then later just feel hollow around it.  You weren’t really honoring what was important to you.  The solution is to get clear on what you are doing with your money and then change those actions and choices to ones that actually foster and support your values.

And there is an additional second crucial thing to consider as you look at your money.  It’s your “come from” or attitude.  For a variety of reasons (which are another blog) we mostly approach analyzing or exploring our choices from the perspective of Judgement.  There are those mental wagging fingers and critical comments.  The “should’s”, “ought to’s”, and “got to’s”.  NONE, not a one, of those are helpful.  They simply distract you from getting clarity with a cloud of emotion.

The most important thing to practice as you try to learn what your money has to teach you is to look at it from a neutral, non-judgmental sense of curiosity.  It’s simple.  Just notice what you are doing.  Imagine yourself saying “Hmm, isn’t that interesting.  I somehow make up that having more shoes (or purses, or cars, etc.) means I’m a more successful person.  Hmmm”.  Imagine discovering the meanings hidden in plain sight in your spending.

Noticing is the first step.  Do it with numbers or not.  Just do it. As you get clear, you get out of auto-pilot and have a choice.  A different choice is really all that is needed to get different results.

I’m here to help you untangle your money knots.  Just give me a call at 503-258-1630 or check out my website at www.sensiblecoaching.com

Ka’ching,

Shell Tain, The Untangler

Generosity With Boundaries

I’ve been practicing what I call “Generosity with boundaries” for ages. Frankly, it’s always seemed important to me. How can I help people stand in Plentyland if I’m generositycoming from scarcity? I need to walk my talk. Part of that is to be generous while taking good care of myself and thus, “Generosity with boundaries”. Of course, this idea, like money itself, isn’t just about money. It’s about using all of our assets in a way that is both generous and self-supporting. So ideally, it’s the notion that we help others with our time, energy and, sometimes, money. And we make sure that we help in ways that don’t jeopardize our own well being.

Let’s layer in the idea that money is reflective. What that means is that money doesn’t actually make things happen. Instead it reflects, or shows you, what you are choosing to do with it. It shows you if you are walking your talk, whatever that talk may be.

And I think there is also something in here about the idea of the Golden Rule: “Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.” Do I treat others the way I’d like to be treated? And do I use my money with others the way I’d like them to use it with me? I don’t think this concept, that is fostered by many religions and philosophies, is simply about being “‘nice”. I think it truly has to do with the idea that we get back what we put out.

We aren’t likely to gain respect by treating others with disdain. Being aloof isn’t likely to create friendliness in others. Sure, not everyone we are kind or generous to is going to be that way to us. However, our being kind will make the possibility of the kindness being returned more likely.

The real question is: Do you treat your money transactions the same way? Do you treat others around money the way you want to be treated? How do you want to be treated around money? For me, words like fairness and respect come to mind. I really want to come from a win/win place. I don’t want to be taken advantage of and I also don’t want to take advantage of others.

I’m not responsible for the choices others make around their money. I am responsible for how I use my money and how that reflects my ethics and values.

So what would “generosity with boundaries” look like for you and your money?

I’m here to help you untangle your money knots. Give me a call at 503-258-1630 or check out my website at www.sensiblecoaching.com

Ka’ching,

Shell Tain, The Untangler